A crown of thorns impaled his scalp, nails pierced his hands, and his back was shredded like raw meat from the 39 lashings. Scripture tells us he was so horribly beaten he was no longer recognizable (Isaiah 52:14). Looking into the eyes of those who had stripped him naked, betrayed him, denied him, destroyed him, and ultimately abandoned him, Jesus uttered from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
How does a forgiveness like this even exist? What does a forgiveness like this mean for you and me? How do we explain a forgiveness so amazing, so divine?
What is forgiveness?
Ultimately, forgiveness is an invitation to participate in a divine encounter in the vertical with God that spills over into our horizontal relationships on earth. The greatest and most foundational forgiveness we have been shown is the forgiveness offered to us by the Almighty God. He who knew no sin became sin so we could become children of God (2 Corinthians 5:21). The righteous resume of Jesus Christ–His birth, life, death, and resurrection, replaced our dripping, sin-stained resumes. Not because there was anything in us worthy of the great substitution, but grace alone. Without the forgiveness of sins, there is no pathway for us to have peace with God.
Forgiveness is the gateway through which reconciliation and repair enter the landscape of relational possibility. Forgiveness is the fertile and soft soil in which a relationship can find its footing and stability after rupture. Forgiveness is super natural. Forgiveness is divine. When we forgive someone, we are drawing upon the divine forgiveness that has been offered to us. My colleague, Gary Spooner, states it this way:
“Forgiveness says, ‘I will carry the pain you have caused me like Christ carried the pain I caused him.’”
That is a divine ask, by a divine God, who perfectly has forgiven us so that we might learn how to forgive one another.
What kind of divine forgiveness has been shown to us?
Faithful and Just Forgiveness
1 John 1:9 tells us that we have been shown faithful and just forgiveness. Faithful forgiveness is a forgiveness we can count on, we can depend on, and we know will be there when we seek it, and even when we do not seek it, it will be there.
We get to practice this faithful forgiveness in our earthly relationships all the time. Because of this faithful forgiveness offered to us, we are asked by God to offer this kind of faithful forgiveness to those in our own lives.
In the midst of raising four children, I have, at times, found it unnerving how readily available and willing my children have been to forgive my many flaws and missteps. Before I can get to the end of repenting, often their arms have been thrown about my neck with whispers of, “It’s ok, Mama. I forgive you.” Their eagerness to restore our relationship through the offering of their forgiveness has blessed me abundantly.
Forgiveness is just. I can feel the squirminess in some of you, readers. “But Sara, what about an abusive spouse? Am I supposed to forgive and re-enter a dangerous situation?” “But Sara, what about a relationship where there is habitual, unrepentant sin? Am I supposed to forgive and make a bed for someone’s sin?”
Forgiveness does not mean letting serious wrongs go unpunished. Forgiveness does not mean access. Forgiveness does not mean trust.
When the foundation of a relationship has been violated, limited access and the rebuilding of trust are often natural consequences that must be earned and achieved for the relationship to be restored. Biblically speaking, we are to be looking for trackable, measurable change to accompany repentance. There are biblical standards to determine whether someone is truly repentant and changing (2 Corinthians 7:10 & 11). Forgiveness does not cast a net of amnesia over wrong.
Forgetting Forgiveness
Isaiah 43 states, “I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and remembers your sin no more.” How does an all-knowing God simply forget something? That seems like a contradiction to His very character. What this verse is saying is that God actively chooses to remember something else about us, about our condition, about our sin. He chooses to remember His Son—the price His Son paid on our behalf.
Part of releasing someone from the poison of resentment and anger within us is the active, moment-by-moment forgiving when the offense comes to mind. We do not have the luxury of forgiving someone in a singular space and time, but every time thoughts of the offense plague us and pain re-emerges from the hurt, we choose to forgive, again and again.
Freeing Forgiveness
The woman at the well was drawing water during non-peak hours because of her soiled, relational story. Her divine encounter with forgiveness came through her literal encounter with Jesus. Divine Forgiveness permits us to tell the whole story, even the scandalous parts. In John 4, Jesus says to the woman, “Go, call your husband, and come here. The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus desires to set this woman free from the secrecy and shame of her marital record. He knows that he has life to offer her through the forgiveness of her sins. But first, he gives her the opportunity to break free from the shackles of her sin that have choked out her ability to truly live. Forgiveness sets us free from the entangling bite of sin. Divine Forgiveness allows us to walk in the light as He is in the light and have fellowship with one another (I John 1:9).
Divine forgiveness is scandalous, unfair, and offensive until we realize how desperately dependent we all are on it to save us.