In August 2025, the Owen Center Counselors hosted a Q&A Panel on parenting in the digital age.
Transcript & Resources:
When you think about the past century, families had only a handful of major technological shifts to deal with. In the 1920s, it was the home radio. In the 1960s, color TV. Then came the landline telephone. For nearly 75 years, those were the three big changes in the way we consumed information and connected with the world.
Since the early 2000s, children and families have had to adjust to eight major technological shifts—more than in the previous three-quarters of a century combined: personal computers, the internet, social media, smartphones, streaming entertainment, online video games, smart devices, and artificial intelligence. While technology has opened doors for connection and opportunity, it has also coincided with deeply troubling cultural trends—something that far outmatches the Tower of Babel.
Since 2010, anxiety has increased by 139% in young adults ages 18–25, by 103% in ages 26–34, and by 52% in ages 35–49. Emergency room visits for self-harm are up 48% for adolescent boys and 188% for adolescent girls. Suicide rates for children ages 10–14 have risen 91% for boys and 167% for girls. Many factors contribute to these heartbreaking numbers. But we cannot ignore the correlation between the rapid rise of personal technology, the collapse of the family, and the cultural shifts that have reshaped the way we live and think.
Solving an Unstoppable Problem
As parents, we cannot solve the world’s problems in one single conversation when our child has broken the rules or idolized technology.
This is a topic that requires a relational approach with our children.
But first, we must take an honest look at our own hearts, our parenting, and our homes—and see how God’s Word speaks to the challenges of raising kids and teens in a digital age. The pace of change means parents can’t just react—they must relate.
Parents must not be ignorant, but we also must not be afraid.
It is easy to fall into a very apathetic or even numb state when we hear statistics that make us feel like we are already behind. But as Paul says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” It is only through a Christian worldview that we can make this make sense to our children (and ourselves). If we try to only correct the behavior, we are fighting a battle that we will likely lose the moment our children leave the house. We must first establish and maintain open communication with our children.
Shepherding, Not Managing
The digital age makes it tempting to “monitor and manage” rather than shepherd hearts. Measuring parenting success by outcomes does not always work. It also goes against the way God loves us. ScreenTime, Internet blockers, and other technological net nannies can be helpful, but they do not fix the problem. This is something that children are immediately aware of, and because we are all sinners who fall short, they immediately feel the urge to fight against being surveilled. Paul encourages parents in Ephesians 6:4, “…do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Paul is pointing out that if we are not first showing our children the beauty and utility of God’s instruction, we will likely only provoke our children to anger, striking that deep chord of rebellion within all of our hearts. Yes, God’s Word is the best tool to utilize, but we must help our children understand who God is first, before we simply police them with our God given authority. There is a difference between saying “No” and “Let’s talk about it.” “No” quickly provokes, while the other opens a conversation to investigate your child’s heart. It is easy to say, “Well, my kids never want to talk about it.” That is a fair and common sentiment, but their unwillingness to engage does not mean we get to abdicate our calling as parents. It is more of a call for creativity.
Parents must remember, kids aren’t projects—they are people, made in God’s image, needing guidance, grace, and gospel truth.
That said, your child does not know better than you. We should not simply hand over the complete independence that they desire. They might have insight that you are not aware of, but that does not mean you should let them find their own way. As Christians, we are raising disciples, not rule followers. You are the guide, but you must not make it more difficult for them to follow you. That is why we must get to their hearts.
The Heart Is the Target
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” This returns us to the idea that we are to know our child’s heart, not simply barricade it. Their beliefs, desires, and actions will reveal where their heart is currently and where it wants to go. In our tech-driven world, rules will always lag behind innovation. That is why God repeatedly reminds us that the heart is the issue. His repeated theme in the book of Hosea shows that God consistently desires mercy, not sacrifice. He desires relationship first, through which holiness then grows.
Sadly, we must prepare ourselves to accept that our children will fail, be exposed, and fight against us. When we don’t expect it, we become most frustrated. They are experiencing hormones, changes, and social pressures for the very first time. You have had years of experience and practice. You cannot expect them to be mature adults, nor can we expect them to simply understand things like we do. Parents must maintain maturity while offering gracious love and peace to their children when they run from God’s grace.
What Now?
- Move out of your own fear. Don’t just shield them—shape them with wisdom.
- Ask questions more often than giving commands.
- Teach discernment over avoidance. (You will not always be there when they need wisdom most.)
- Remember: the Gospel frees us from performance-based parenting. Your identity as a parent is as an ambassador of Christ, who lives under the authority of God’s grace.
- Shepherding is the most important thing. This includes your ability to stay informed about the latest developments in technology.
- Model what you teach. You will be your own Achilles’ heel if your children see hypocrisy. Call yourself out.
- You might think that it is too late and your children have already been saturated with technology. To that, I’d say it is never too late to begin building a relationship with your children, whether they are three or eighteen.
Resources
-
- AXIS (axis.org)
- Into The Light (https://intothelightministries.ca/)
- The Anxious Generation – Jonathan Haidt
- The Age of Opportunity; Parenting – Paul Tripp
- Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World – Eliza Huie
- Shepherding A Child’s Heart – Tedd Tripp